Instinctual Existentialism: Dad Beards

Women are a lot different than men. Not exactly a revelation, I know.
But these differences become amplified during pregnancy. 

It seems that the instant women find out they are pregnant, the
maternal instinct immediately manifests itself as the dominant natural
life-guiding principle. Now, this is not to say that men don’t also have a
paternal reaction. But, at least for me, it was more of a practical response.
More of an “I’ve got approximately 38 weeks to get my poop in a group before I’m
responsible for another human” mentality. As a result we focus on getting
affairs in order like job security, an adequate and safe roof over the family’s
head, building financial savings and checking on life and health
insurance.

However, I started to notice a change in the 20-week range. An
emotional change whose only externally visual representation was the instinctual
action of shaving in a beard. Granted, I’ve grown beards before. And, honestly,
shaving in the beard was partially motivated by reducing the square inches
needed to be gouged and gashed with the razor during a particularly hectic time
in my life (moving cross country). But, the notion of becoming a dad is what has
motivated me to keep it.

 And, it turns out I’m not alone.  A good friend and newly
expecting mother laughed when I told her about my dad beard. It turns out one of
the early-in-the-pregnancy questions her husband asked was, “Should I grow a
beard?”

Some shoddy-at-best internet research leads me to conclude that this is
not an isolated phenomenon. It turns out that dad beards are a celebrated right
of passage. Dads were the original hipsters. And, dad beards are probably the
only aspect of life where I can best Brad Pitt.

I probably won’t keep the beard for long. And, I may even shave and
regrow it before the baby arrives in July. But I need at least one picture of me
holding the baby with overgrown moppy hair, sporting flannel and displaying a
majestic beard. After all, it’s instinct.

Now, I just need to be patient until dad strength kicks in.